Why Conquering your Fear is the First Step to Defeating Frustration and Achieving Success

The right thoughts, in order to be heard and fully comprehended need to be concise and meaningful.  Rambling on does not achieve this goal and it’s a habit of mine… I’m pretty sure. 😉
I bring this up because there are times you meet someone that just absolutely seems like a “kindred spirit” – a like-minded, kind soul.  And rule number one — you can’t go blabbing about whatever you want with no meaning or conciseness whatsoever unless you’re already out to lunch and hugging… right?

I almost miss the simplicity of being a kid on the playground and asking a new girlfriend to go get ice cream tomorrow or who are you going with to the skating rink this weekend or hey want to go to the mall?  BAM – just like that, BFFs and NBD.  Now i feel like an awkward dude at a bar who’s trying to pick someone up. You have to be stealthy, but honest… smooth but not sleazy.. upbeat and enthusiastic without being too hyper and creepy.  And most of all, be genuine.

That’s terrifying for me.  I want to make the right friends — good friends — but it’s not as simple as being 8 years old anymore, is it?  I want to make the right impression – let myself “shine” through others’ perception of me — in the right words.

And then, sometimes, you just have to take the leap of faith, try your best, and hope the other person is receptive. Because when it really comes down to it, I think it’s more about self-acceptance.  “OMG, am I saying the “right” things, am I sounding too eager, too desperate, too negative, too stiff, too idealistic??” ….. Or am I the only one who panics in high-pressure situations? 🙂

My opinion is that what is truly fundamental is beginning with the belief that “I am Enough”… and presenting that authentically.  If that’s your goal, you shouldn’t be ashamed of rejection or put-downs.  Believe me, I know they’re embarrassing and disappointing.  But I think having a goal of showing up bravely, courageously, and authentically is beautiful and truly bold.  And like Brené Brown says, courage is the willingness to show up with your whole heart – being able to live with your WHOLE heart.  

What I want for 2015, for myself and for others, is courage, love, prosperity, and an open mind.  Though really, I think if you simply begin with courage, love, and an open mind, I bet prosperity will follow. Hopefully wherever you’re at, if life has been rough and discouraging lately, that these will also lead to enthusiasm and positivity.  A wise man – Tom Hopkins – says, “Decrease your depression and you’ll automatically increase your enthusiasm.” That belief is the consequence of the following logic that I’m a little surprised this post lead to — nevertheless i feel that it’s important to include this excerpt from Tom Hopkins book: How to Master the Art of Selling.

The chain of Depression and Getting-Down

  1. Conscious of your wants and needs, you motivate yourself — and move forward.  Imagine yourself starting the engine of a high-powered sports car.
  2. Conscious of your fears and anxieties, you demotivate yourself — and are stopped.  Your sports car is sitting in mud up to its hubcaps; the drive wheels are spinning but you aren’t going anywhere.
  3. Some of your [peers] around you are moving ahead – but you aren’t, and your frustration mounts rapidly.  You see what they are doing, and you know what you should do, but the more you want to, the harder it is to make yourself do it.  In the sports car, you gun the engine and throw lots of mud.  But you don’t move.  Instead, you dig yourself in deeper.  Your frustration runs into the red, and you pound the wheel angrily.
  4. Because you aren’t able to [achieve] and move forward to satisfy your wants and needs, you lose faith in your product and company or — what’s much worse — in yourself.  When any of these things happen, the frustration eating at you turns into depression.  It’s as though you give up trying to gun your sports car out of the mud, shut off the engine, and step out into the muck to go it on foot.
  5. Now you’re too depressed to take any effective course of action on your own, and you’ll remain in the immobile state until some outside force moves you out of it.

There’s much more to that chapter, but this was a reaffirmation for me about how dangerously powerful fear is.  A champion, pro-athlete, or uber-successful-guru doesn’t focus on how far they are from their comfort zone.  The reason they went OUT on a limb anyway was because they couldn’t shake off their focus from their GOAL.  That’s passion – that’s love.

I guess I have one more wish for usthat we can recognize fear, attack fear, and conquer fear.

I’m wishing you the best of 2015!

Thank you for reading,

Ashley

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